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You yourself want to stay in denial. I don't get what magical solution you think there is here. She's irresponsible with money. Never wants to discuss it. Never wants to file with you together. Doesn't want you to know what her filing status is. Doesn't want you to know what her take home pay is. She's unwilling to budge no matter how times you've talked to her on the issue. Sir, do you what point I'm making here? Do you what this says? You want some transparency when it comes to finances. She's not willing to give you any. It's to the point where the IRS has come down harshly on her for not paying her taxes more than once.

Put yourself into our shoes. What do YOU think is the solution to this problem if you weren't in it? She refuses to be more sensible with money or tell you any little info on her money. It's so much of a problem you are now posting here.

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So what other solution is there a decade into your marriage now that she's acted this way? You think all of a sudden she's going to come to you one day and say "I'd like to be different regardless of the 10 years of this being an issue.

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