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Home Health Relationships. Making the good stuff your top priority will. First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one. So compliment your girlfriend on her new shoes, or your boyfriend on his new blue shirt.
Thank him for helping around the house. Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphinsfor giver and receiver. Revive the ways you touched in the early days—a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair.
Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. How do you build this bond? First, support your partner. Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over time, ensuring a closer, sexier union.
The next step is seeing your mate as the one who must change for the relationship to improve. Trying to improve your partner puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a negative light. The result? Nobody changes.
Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone is unhappy. The true fix: Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your companion, magic happens. Optimism increases. Your partner feels better because he or she feels appreciated, not chastised. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy. These quotes about forgiveness will inspire you to put down your grudges. The happier you feelthe happier your relationship will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts.
Meanwhile, admit it: You used to fuss over your hair and obsess over the sexiest item to wear to bed. Time to spruce up your look. Comb that mane, brush those teeth and throw on a new robe.
Feeling good about the way you look makes your eyes sparkle. That sends a spark to your partner. You know what to do next! Find out the best foods to spice up your sex life. Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any relationship. In a Florida study of longtime couples, t problem-solving ability was cited as a key factor for 70 per cent of satisfied pairs.
First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. University of California researchers who followed 79 couples for more than a decade found that early divorcers fought long and loud and were always on the attack—or the defensive. Too late?
Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while. Brush up on the seven stages of marriage. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Ban booze for the same reason. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. And make sure you never do this after a fight. The single most powerful step you can take to keep a relationship solid?
Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults, criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell. When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. Next, find out how to be a better lover in six easy steps. We are no longer supporting IE Internet Explorer as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices.
Share on Facebook. Save on Pinterest. Tweet this. Search terms Search form submit button. D, Reader's Digest Updated: Feb. No matter how long you've been together, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn't always easy, but it is critical.
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How to Make a Relationship Last: 5 Secrets Backed by Research