Looking for a few laughs

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A quote can be a single line from one character or a memorable dialog between several characters. Please make your quotes accurate. Quotes will be submitted for approval by the RT staff. Top Box Office. More Top Movies Trailers Forums. Certified Fresh Picks. View All. Certified Fresh Pick. Scene in Color Film Series. R, min. View All Photos View All Videos 1. Karl: He wasn't lying about Marco. He's down on the street. The other one was Heinrich. And his bag is missing.

Hans Gruber: He had the detonators. Al Powell: In fact, I think he's a cop.

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Maybe not LAPD, but he's definitely a badge. Dwayne T. Robinson: How do you know that? Al Powell: A hunch, things he said. Like being able to spot a phony ID. Robinson: Jesus Christ, Powell, he could be a fucking bartender for all we know! John McClane: Glass, who gives a shit about glass? John McClane: Welcome to the party pal! John McClane: Welcome to the party, pal! Hans Gruber: Now I have a machine gun.

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John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs Hans Gruber: On the radio You are most troublesome for a security guard. Hans Gruber: [on the radio] You are most troublesome for a security guard. Wrong guess. Would you like to go for double jeopardy where the scores can really change?

John McClane: [imitates buzzer] Sorry, Hans. Hans Gruber: Who are you, then? John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. A monkey in the wretch. A pain in the ass. Hans Gruber: Impersonating a hostage You don't work for Nakatomi, and if you're not one of them? Hans Gruber: [impersonating a hostage] You don't work for Nakatomi, and if you're not one of them? Hans Gruber: New York? John McClane: Got invited to the Christmas party by mistake.

Who knew? Hans looks at John's bare feet Better than getting caught with your pants down. Laughs I'm John McClane. You're uh Hans Gruber: Clay. Bill Clay. John McClane: You know how to use a handgun, Bill?

Hans Gruber: I spent a weekend at a combat ranch. You Looking for a few laughs that game with the guns that shoot red paint? Probably seems kind of stupid to you. John McClane: No. Hands him the gun Time for the real thing, Bill. All you gotta do is pull the trigger. Marco: No more table! Where are you going to go now? Let me give you some advice: Next time you have the chance to kill someone, don't hesitate!!! Let me give you some advice: Next time you have the chance to kill someone, don't hesitate!

John McClane: Kills him Thanks for the advice. John McClane: [kills him] Thanks for the advice. John McClane: "Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister. Looking for a few laughs McClane: Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister. John McClane: No fucking shit lady does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?! John McClane: No fucking shit lady, does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!

John McClane: No fucking shit lady, does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza? Hans Gruber: Points gun at John Put down the gun and give me my detonators. Hans Gruber: [points gun at John] Put down the gun and give me my detonators. John McClane: Well, well, well Hans Gruber: Put down the gun. John McClane: You're pretty tricky with that accent. You oughtta be on fuckin' TV with that accent. Hans Gruber: I'm going to count to three.

John McClane: Yeah, like you did with Takagi? Hans pulls trigger and the gun is empty Oops. No bullets, you think I'm fuckin' stupid, Hans? Hans Gruber: You Americans are all alike. Well, this time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly. Al Powell: Want a breath mint? Hans Gruber: I am going to count to three.

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There will not be a four. Hans Gruber: I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way We can go any way you want it. You can walk out of here or be carried out. But have no illusions. We are in charge. John McClane: Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs. Al Powell: They're for my wife. Al Powell: She's pregnant. Al Powell: Bag it!

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Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you? Hans Gruber: Who said we were terrorists? Hans Gruber: "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.

Hans Gruber: And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. Benefits of a classical education. Hans Gruber: What was it you said before? Yippi-ki-yay, motherfer.

John McClane: Laughs. John McClane: [laughs]. Hans Gruber: Laughs. Hans Gruber: [laughs]. John McClane: Holly! Shoots Hans and henchman. Happy trails, Hans.

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Hans Gruber: Mr Takagi, I could talk about industrialization and men's fashion all day. However, I am far more interested in the million dollars in negotiable bearer bonds hidden in your vault John McClane: [imitating his wife's request] Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs.

Ellis: Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash. Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us Mr. Hans Gruber: You asked for miracles, I give you Karl: And, if HE alters it?

Takagi: What kind of terrorists are you? Hans Gruber: Mr. Takagi, who ever said we were terrorists? Holly Gennero McClane: After all this, you're just a common thief. Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional theif, Mrs. Thornburg: [After C4 Explosion] Tell me you got that!

Cameraman: Ya.

Looking for a few laughs

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